The characters around here

UGHGHGHGHG.

I think because preschool projects are relatively short term, this screenplay is kind of killing me.  It's not because it's the first draft, it's the SECOND draft.  So it's reworking and rewriting ... which I kind of dread.  Long form dread.

So in an exercise to get into characters, I've decided to use my neighbours around here and describe them to you as I would if I were pitching a sitcom.  Actually, not really.  Pitching a sitcom is a very different ball game.

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Names have been changed.  Sort of.


James and Agatha, late 50s, Scottish, generally quiet except between 9 and 10 pm.
James and Agatha keep to themselves but make polite small talk when asked questions.  Potential to be quite sweet and generous but have never been taken up on such offers (i.e. borrow tools, give a ride somewhere).  They make rare appearances but are frequently heard through their home fixtures, which are of industrial strength.  

Deb and her hubby have devised several theories about James and Agatha.

1:  James and Agatha's house must be like an igloo.  Their industrial-strength air conditioner goes off approximately every 30 minutes and is somehow attached to the brick wall, which heightens the reverberation and thus makes Deb feel dizzy when lying down in the master bedroom and can feel the whir drummed into her brain.

2:   James and Agatha like routine.  They tend to follow similar patterns of coming and going.  James takes a shower when he gets home, because Deb can hear the pipes.
2a)  James and Agatha like routine, so they do it between 9 and 10 p.m. every night.  There's a lot of banging in the basement.

3:  James and Agatha like a clean house.  They vacuum quite often.

4:  Deb has sent over baked goods and once, stuffed meatloaf with roasted broccoli and herbed potatoes in a takeout container for James when Agatha was in Scotland.  They've never returned such a gesture, which brings Deb to these theories:
4a)  James and Agatha do not like our food.
4b)  James and Agatha just don't reciprocate.   
4c)  James and Agatha have dietary restrictions. 

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"You have an overactive imagination."

Yes, yes, I do.  And people pay me for it.